Commitment

The time has come...I have to complete paperwork to recommit to running this marathon AND raising $3200 for the Society by Monday, August 11. I would like to say I am confident recommitting, because training has been going good, GREAT actually...but it's hard to focus on training when the weight of the monetary obligation is constantly on my mind. I am so grateful for the contributions I have received...I know I wouldn't be able to get out there each week without the support. I have ideas for some fundraisers I want to put into action, but it is unreal the time, not to mention energy commitment training requires. DEDICATION. It's something i've never felt so intensely as I have this summer. Sticking to my training schedules everyday, meeting my coaches at optional track meets during the week, pushing myself on the long distance meets Saturday mornings, and my determination to find a fueling strategy that works for my body. Nine weeks left until the big day...
The 10 miler after my birthday went really well. We ran out all the way to Hawthorne Blvd on Palos Verdes Drive. It was a real milestone in our training, hitting double digits. I'm not gonna lie...I did cry a little...:) One of my (faster) teammates was on her way back on the course and yelled "Go Rena!" when she passed me and I couldn't hold it in. I was full of love. I felt completely proud of myself. I ran it straight through, pain free, and I felt great!
I ran by myself until just past the halfway point a girl named Laura joined me. Running about five steps ahead of me, she pulled back and said,"We're running the same pace, I figured instead of running right in front of you I'd run next to you instead!" Along the way, Laura told me about her history of running, and when I asked her why she had signed up again, I got the familiar response. "I'm out of shape and need to lose weight." I just don't relate to this and hear it all the time. Of COURSE, they are great side effects, but I definitely am not looking at it as the reason why I'm putting myself through the stress and exhaustion of training for a marathon. No one has really asked me why I signed up, but my answer is definitely not body conscious. I just got an itch. I was reading somewhere in Women's Health Magazine that although very taxing on the body, marathon running is a mind over matter battle. Sometimes I feel like...I talk myself into failing before I even give myself the opportunity to try. If marathon running could test my cognizance, then maybe it would help push my limits in other areas of my life. It's a fact that your body can do more work than you think you can, your mind stops you from pushing farther as a sort of defense mechanism...you can't fail if you don't try, somewhat sums it up.
The past two weeks were very difficult. We are only building mileage higher and higher, long gone are the days of 4 mile runs. The 12 miler we ran a week ago was hard for me, the weather didn't cooperate with my request for cool misty overcast, and I made a few mistakes. I had a very mental struggle, particularly after my coworker (who did Nike with TNT last year) told me that she suffered her season injury during the 12 mile run. Naturally, it scared the crap out of me. I feel like everyone I talk to now only discusses their injuries. Its hard not to let that get to you.
The heat really burns up energy, and when you are hot, you want to drink...with some hopes of it reviving your energy (don't get me wrong, it's very important to hydrate.) I managed to guzzle down so much water and gatorade, that the last 4 miles of my run were painful. I had a belly swollen and sloshing with every step...and heat still beating down on me...but knew I couldn't fit another drop of electrolyte ridden water down my throat. In my pitiful attempt to finish the run, I stepped wrong and began to feel some pain along the edge of my foot and my ankle. I had to slow to a walk to see if it was something serious or would fade. After a few attempts to keep running, it finally subsided...probably stepped on a pebble and rolled my ankle just enough for it to scream out at me. I was able to run it in. I rewarded myself at home with a cold bath.
This past Saturday, another big run, 14 miles. During the announcements before we head out, a girl asked me how I run by myself...I didn't know what to say because it never dawned on me that running was not a solo activity! I guess i don't want to feel like I NEED anyone next to me to run, because I don't. So I don't really commit to running with anyone. She said she was going to run with me straight through this time, to which I said, "ok..." She ended up quitting at the first aid station four miles in, something about knee pain. I have to be careful not to let stuff like that psyche me out. A lot of people are out there trying to run with injuries and I just don't know how they do it. I feel so blessed that I have made it this far with little more than sore legs. I really hope my good fortune continues to come as we get closer to 20 miles.
I began participating in speed training during the week at Mira Costa High...our coaches develop new interval routines each week to test our speed and push our limits. Last week I felt really good, and pulled off my first 8:15 minute mile. There is no way that I could maintain that for a marathon, (or even for a couple miles for that matter) but it's actually going to make the biggest difference when I run the hills in San Francisco.
There is this whole computation of so many variables...I just hope I dial it all in right on race day and make you all proud.